Remember Faustus

It was a curious day. Said bye to dad and drove to what used to be home. I don't know what it is now.

The dog looked happy to see me. She doesnt like to be alone.

I had my two bags with me. And two polypacks - my clothes, underwear, toothbrush and stuff.

I ate the stuff Dad had packed for me.

I felt heavy all the while but it was not the food. It was in the head.

The TV ran like crazy and I kept flipping channels.

Dad called twice. He sounded nervous and worried. They think I will slip. The way Sanyal sir did. Maybe I will, but I hope I wont.

MK says - Remember Faustus? You are living him. A life without redemption. This is truly the end.

And then I felt hungry again and made myself maggi and two sandwiches. Then I slept for a while between phone calls from human beings. There were two calls from office too. But there were no long calls.

Then there was cricket, which has little class left. Very little class or craft.

I don't know why I kept thinking about the month of October. I hate the period between October and March. It sucks.

The dog kept barking all the time. And I kept barking too.

Then the maid came. Actually her daughter. She wanted to know what to cook. I got her to cook Bhindi ki sabzi and dal.

I ate late.

And right now, sitting and typing at 3 in the morning, I thank the corporation for the wireless internet connection. And I remember Faustus, in his room, abandoning all learning that his genius had gathered to devour in one room, and the faustian deal he strikes with ...evil. And the what the chorus says when it is all over.

And I wish I hadn't memorised the lines in 94, It's been 14 years. Why can't I forget?

Cut is the branch that might have grown full straight,
And burned is Apollo's laurel-bough,
That sometime grew within this learned man.
Faustus is gone: regard his hellish fall,
Whose fiendful fortune may exhort the wise,
Only to wonder at unlawful things,
Whose deepness doth entice such forward wits
To practice more than heavenly power permits.

Terminat hora diem; terminat auctor opus.

The blue badge bus, the red badge bus

It was 1977 and dad was out sailing many months. The coconut trees were tall. And the rains happened all the time in Cochin.

The KG school had two buses. One with the kids who wore a red badge and one with the kids who wore a blue badge. I liked the red badge but I wore the blue badge. The red badge kids would go to Katari Bagh, the blue badge kids would cross the Tewara Bridge and come to many bus stops near my house in Palampali Nagar.

One day I broke my blue badge when I was playing in the roundabout in the park of the KG school. I cried a lot and put my blue badge in my pocket.

After school was over, when the teacher started to put all the children in two ques, one red badge que and one blue badge que, I went into the red badge que because I liked the red badge so much.

So I also got into the red badge bus and not the blue badge bus.

When the bus started to go, I was happy because everybody in the bus had a red badge. But then after sometime I realised that the bus was not going over the Tewara Bridge. It was going to Katari bagh.

Also, all the children in the bus were other children. Only two were my friends- Tillu and his sister who were saxena uncle's children. Saxena Uncle was papa's and mummy's friend but he did not like phantom like I did. He liked tarzan.

This made me nervous and scared. I forgot all about the happiness of the red badge now. I thought I will never get home. I thought I will remain in the road now and no one will know where I live and I will become a beggar. And so I began to cry. And I cried so bad that my nose began to run down my chin and I shut my eyes tightly.

And the funny thing is that even when Saxena uncle dropped me home in the evening on his scooter, I kept crying. As if now, even if I had come home, I could get lost anytime because I had travelled in the red badge bus.

After that, I always held on to my blue badge very tightly, but I loved the red badge even more.